My Immortal Commentary
by ShayL92
Summary: It's my turn to comment on the scourge of the internet, My Immortal. I thought it would be fun. Rated T for atrocious spelling and grammar, poorly written sex scenes, mental scarring of a house elf and overall stupidity. I do not own My Immortal.
1. Chapter 1

Authoress Note: I thought I would do my own commentary on the scourge of the internet and disgrace to the Harry Potter fandom and fanfiction. Yes, folks I'm talking about My Immortal by Tara Glisebie which I don't own. I've read so many other commentaries online so here I go. I only own what's written in bold. Also, I must warn you that I could very well end up losing my sanity just like every other person who was brave enough to comment on this train wreck. Before I start I would like to thank all those people who did so. Finally, I do not own the following Warning. It came from another commentator, PunkTeaCup13. I thought it was a good idea so I'm using it in mine. I hope he/she doesn't mind that I borrowed it.

SURGEON GENERAL WARNING: Reading this fanfiction cold may cause brain hemorrhaging, mental trauma, uncontrollable vomiting, upset stomach or extreme headaches. Do not read if you have heart problems, pregnant or have a weak stomach. Do not operate machinery after reading.

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling.** She didn't help you enough. You need serious help which includes going back to school and NOT failing English and Grammar. I feel sorry for anyone who has attempted to tutor you.** U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life **Justin Bieber? Her writing is so god awful that Bieber was the first person I thought of and Tara is most likely the average age of a Justin Bieber fangirl.** u rok 2! MCR ROX!

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way **Why is there an apostrophe in Darkness? Also I've recently studied up on the characteristics of a Mary Sue and Ebony is the queen of all Mary Sues.** and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) **That doesn't sound likely.** with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid **Wrong use of the word limpid. Even your poetry sucks just like your grammar.** tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) **I know who Amy Lee is and I would've been gone before the chapter even started but I'm too interested in doing this commentary**. I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. **One word. Incest. I think Conan O'Brien is hot but I wouldn't go as far to say I wish I was related to him.** I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white **How this that possible? **. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, **How is it possible to be two different species. You're either a witch or a vampire. Which one? ** and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England **Hogwarts is in Scotland, you blithering idiot! See, I have my own epic insults too. Well, actually it's from McGonagall in DH part 2 but it's still a hilarious insult. ** where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. **I wouldn't care even if you were dressed like Godzilla. Meh. Coming up with witty remarks is tough. ** I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining **I've never heard of it snowing and raining at Hogwarts but it's happened to me a few times before.** so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! **Was this for dramatic effect?**

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. **the Draco Malfoy I know from the real Harry Potter isn't shy. I don't know what you call this abonination you've dragged Malfoy into. **

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. **Yay! **

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! **It's a piece of crap. **

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok! **The story deserves every flame it got. How can you not notice your atrocious grammar and spelling? I so wish I could've read the flames before the story got deleted. It would've been fun. Also, the term prep is offensive to me since I went to a college prepatory high school. Also, since you seem unclear on the proper definition of prep, here it is: **

**Noun (Prep): Comes from identifiying one who goes to a prepratory or "prep" school (typically on the East Coast), or a school with the intent of preparing its students for college (often Ivy League).**

**Has come to be an label for those who conform to typical teenage behavior, in areas like clothing, school behavior, and sports participation, because preps usually are more ambitious and/or image-conscious than others.**

**Popular belief is that preps hate nerds/goths/punks/etc, however, generally, preps pay little attention to other "types," and those who hate preps with the most passion are those who were once preps and have recently gone away from their previous behavior, and often people who are posers intent on protecting their alternative-ness.**

**Prep has become to be nearly synonymous with conformist, to the point where most preps have been in denial of their typecast, and it is seen as an insult in the eyes of many. **

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. **Do you supply it yourself somehow or has it been issued by a professor? Do they even know about these special circumstances?** My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. **Must you describe your clothing choices in excruciating detail? **I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. **I think she would have to open her eyes first before she flips her hair. It just makes more sense but then again, NOTHING about this story makes sense.** She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing. **I'm pretty sure vampires can't blush. I saw it on another commentary and well, it just makes sense that they shouldn't be able to. I wish my high school crush was here to tell me how Ebony has royally screwed up the vampire race. **

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. **Lots of unnecessary cursing. I hope I spelled that right. I'm afraid that reading this as I comment will impede my spelling ability. **

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily. **flirtily is not a word. I think she meant flirtatiously. **

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me. **Last time I checked Hogsmeade was a wizarding village. Why is a Muggle band playing there? If I remember correctly Muggles can't see wizarding places so it stands to reason that Good Charlotte wouldn't be able to play there because they CAN'T see it. It's seriously been a while since I read the books but I remember certain details. I've been too busy to read what I want. **

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped. **Was that gasp really necessary? **

**Well, Tara's atrocious spelling and grammar already seems to be affecting me. I read through this today and saw some mistakes. I will be re-uploading the chapters I've already completed after I've edited them. **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ **Stop using prep incorrectly. **l 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte. **What do you mean by 'dis'? your stupid story? That last part is unclear because it's clear you own everything about the story except for any references to Good Charlotte, My Chemical Romance, Evanescence (which you've now ruined for me) and any other bands you listen to. You know why it's clear you own the story? The horrible grammar and spelling. Pft. Anyone twice your age could've written a better story that doesn't make people want to gouge their eyes out. **

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky **How can hair be both straight and spiky? **. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. **What's the point of putting on foundation if you're already pale? I don't know a lot about make up but putting on foundation when you're already pale sounds redundant. If that's the right word. I spent hours thinking of the right one and this is the one that popped in my head. **

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!). **I recently learned not to put author notes in the middle of the story because it doesn't look professional. **

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
>They're all so happy you've arrived<br>The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
>She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song). <strong>I bet she googled that if she even knows how to use it and then copy and pasted the lyrics. It's the only part that's grammatically correct and free of spelling errors. <strong>

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice. **Wrong tense of sing and I would never tell my date that I think someone else is hot. That's something you keep to yourself unless there are other fangirls around. **

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective. ***protectively. cross out all. It looks stupid. Yeah so if I have nothing to say I will correct her stupid mistakes in lieu of an actual comment. **

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. **haha. No one has a blonde face unless you're one of the Simpsons. geddit, because they're yellow. Yeah, I made a geddit joke. I hated spelling it that way but this is a flame in fanfiction form and my joke was funnier than all of your jokes and horrible puns. **

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer **Drinking's bad m'kay.** and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest! **What a stupid cliffhanger. **

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su **Oh, so she's Enoby now. Her name might as well be Mary Sue because that's what she is. ** OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok! **You didn't bother to explain their non existent past. She's known him for like two or three chapters. No one in their right mind would fall for Ebony, anyway. **

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" **He's driving the fucking car. **

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously. **The first time I read this I thought they would fall to their deaths but he stopped the car. But if you walk out of a car that's parked, floating or whatever, you'll probably still die. I don't know. I wish they had fallen to their doom. **

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly **Never heard of this word and the internet dictionary isn't giving me a really helpful definition. How do you make out keenly? **inst a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. **Poorly written sex scene # 1. **

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" **LOL. Such an epic line. **

It was….Dumbledore! **The real Dumbledore would never swear like that. **


	3. Chapter 3

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! **So I'm a poser now? I have no clue what a poser is but I still take offence to prep. ** Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok **You didn't mention that in the last chapter. No one I know goes around swearing when they have a headache. I've never done it. ** an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! **Keep dreaming. **

Chapter 5**  
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Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted. **I love that insult. Although ludicrous is spelled wrong. **

I started to cry tears of blood **No one cries tears of blood. Something is wrong with you other than being fucking crazy. ** down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry. **Aren't you and Draco in Slytherin? It's not McGonagall's job to punish you. **

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall. **Fantastic Insult # 2. Although I still don't know why McGonagall is there when she's head of Gryffindor. **

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." **hehe. I doubt that in real life "Because I Love Him/Her" will get someone out of trouble. **

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. **No he isn't. How the hell did he get in?** We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows! **I'm not a psychic or anything but I don't see any good reviews forthcoming. **

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore **Oh no. Please don't be who I think it is. ** and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. **Nooooooo! ** He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. **How do you know when he hasn't spoken yet? But yes, English accents are the best. I can't believe I agreed with you on something.** He looked exactly like Joel Madden.** Even without reading further I knew it was Harry because I know what he's SUPPOSED to look like. I hate what you've turned him into. ** He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko. **ew. No..just No. **

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled. **NOOOO! What have you done with the boy who lived? **

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. **Giggled? wtf? I've never known Harry to giggle. What is he? a teenage girl?**

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared. **Rumbleroar. Yes, I've watched A Very Potter Musical. **

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! **LOL. I know she meant ten good reviews which is not going to happen. But I think it's funny because God doesn't have time for this crap. It's also a hilarious typo. **STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! **You'll report us for flaming? What a moron. Flaming is not against the ffnet rules as far as I know. Besides I think our flames are justified.** Evony isn't a Marie Sue **Yes she is. ** ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?) **I'm not a Mary Sue expert since I only just studied about them today but off the top of my head I'll say yes.**. I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. **Aren't misery and depressed the same thing?** I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…

We started frenching passively **I saw someone say that she meant to say passionately. No one makes out with the love of their life without emotion. **and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically.** Wow. She actually correctly spelled a big word. ** He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?) **haha. Yes. Poorly Written Sex Scene # 2**

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm **ew** when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire!

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed. **I don't think there should be a comma after angrily. **

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!" **Let's see, if Draco dated Harry (ew and I refuse to call him Vampire) he most likely had sex with him as well. You and Draco have been having sex for two or three chapters, maybe even four. I think that it's a possiblity that you do have AIDS. Why doesn't she ever think? **

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled. **LOL. **

Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. **no! Not the brightest witch of her age too. Hermione should have more sense than this. But in Tara's world common sense goes right out the window along with everyone's personalities.** She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. ) **That's ridiculous. I want Hermione Jean Granger back. **

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him. **Eh. Not as good as the other two insults. **

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears. **No one busts into tears. **

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! **I know you didn't. You completely stripped Harry, Hermione, and Draco of their personalities.** dis is frum da movie **Which movie? I've seen all the movies plenty of times and not once have I heard Dumbledore swear. ** ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) **Well, at least you know what Voldemort looks like. **and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort! **Didn't you already say it was Voldemort? Anyone can tell it was him the minute you said 'no nose'. hehe. **

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" **I'm glad you know how to spell the name of Hermione's cat but Crookshanks isn't an incantation.** I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" **haha. Ye Olde Voldemort is so funny. **

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. **Harry's face is supposed to look like Daniel Radcliffe (who I also think is hot).** I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? **Took you long enough, Ebony! Anyone with a brain could've figured that out in less time than it took you. **

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged. **Wizards and Witches don't need guns. They have wands. **

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!" **I love how Tara seems to know her Shakespeare talk and her song lyrics but the rest of her spelling and grammar is atrocious. **

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) **Stop saying 'geddit'. It's not funny. ** between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled. **Who got expelled? I hope it's Ebony. Oh wait, she's there talking to Malfoy. **

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u gay fags **real mature** if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!

I was really scared about Vlodemort all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) **Not Ron too! ** and Hargrid. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. **I assumed that's what you did at band practice other than playing instruments. **I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) **You kind of did. ** or a steak) **How is meat going to kill vampires?** and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. **I think that's a disney movie. I've never seen it. ** I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not. **HAHAHAHA! LOL. yeah right. a black leather shirt that shows off your boobs? *cough*slut*cough* Do you know how short a miniskirt is? Why do you think it has the word mini in it? Seriously, your taste in clothing is as atrocious as your spelling and grammar. **

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears. **Again with busting into tears. **

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice. ***concerned **

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears. **Finally the right word that happens when tears fall. Burst. **

Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?) **Yes. the real Draco's favorite insult is filthy mudblood. **

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying. **Draco. Crying? Sensitive? Ugh! Get me out of this nightmare. But there's god only knows how many chapters left. **

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists." **How do you cry wisely? **

Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111** I'm sure it will be. ** it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me! **HAHA. Raven is back? I haven't seen Willow since maybe the first chapter. I see no evidence that she helped you with anything. And didn't you two have a fight over some stupid sweater? **

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood **GO SEE A DOCTOR! I will take you there myself if it means you'll stop writing this complete and utter crap. ** and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes **Your wrists got all over your clothes? ** so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in. **Aren't you already dressed? You just described yet another one of your tasteless outfits. Unless they were watching you get undressed. Ugh. See, you're not clear about things so you made ME come up with a horrible mental image. I am going to need lots of brain bleach when I'm done with this commentary. **

"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" **Ugh. She's ruined the gamekeeper. Where is Hagrid? **

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. **I felt that once. I hadn't eaten enough food or maybe it was the summer heat that made me pass out. **

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. **haha. clook is such a funny typo. *cloak **

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!"

Chapter 12.

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat **um...I wouldn't know but no one in my school was like that. ** I wunted 2 adres da ishu! **What issue? there is none. You've addressed nothing. ** how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok! **Wtf? Cedric is dead in the fourth book but you wouldn't know that because you didn't read them. How did your sick mind come up with this?**

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago **How are you misspelling the name of your boyfriend? Your stupidity amazes me. ** had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together. **I'm surprised you knew the word valiantly and used it correctly in a sentence. **

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" **Does this mean the real Harry is coming back? I thought his scar was gone. I missed it though. ** and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. **red whites? **

I stopped. "How did u know?"

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!"

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) **YES. Is the concept of a dictionary and spellcheck foreign to you? ** to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?"

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) **I AM GOING TO THROTTLE YOU IF YOU SAY GEDDIT ONE MORE TIME!** u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) **I don't. I've never seen The Ring. ** and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

"You look kawai, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit) **What did I say about 'geddit'?** you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff. **I don't like this Harry. the real one is friends with Hufflepuffs. I like them too. **

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other. **Poorly written sex scene # 3. I think. This story is so freaking long I'm loosing track. **

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else. **haha. I've also lost count of the number of fantastic insults. I think this is number 3 or 2. haha and Professor McGoggle is an epic typo. **

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!" **This badly written paragraph seems familiar. Did that mediorce dunce actually write it twice? **

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111 **Yeah, WHY AREN'T YOU? **

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I **Oh. So this is the chapter with the sweater fight. Either way I still think Raven was no help at all. **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 13.

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG! **Uh-Oh! and we won't stop flaming. It's your fault for writing such a badly written story. **

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there. **Where is there?**

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily. **hehe. Fantastic Insult # whatever. I'll say 5. **

"Volsemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice. **An evil voice? Dumbledore isn't evil. **

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!) **ew. I can't believe her Harry just said that. It's the worst OOCness yet. I'm not against gays or anything but I hate your version of them. **

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed. **Stop with the tears of blood.**

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair!

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!" **a croon voice?**

It was….. Voldemort! **We know since that's where you were going but you spelled his name wrong two sentences ago. **

Chapter 14.

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws! **haha. again with god reviews. You won't get five good reviews and you won't get 10 good reviews..not even if you pray for God to like it. This story will infuriate God and murder his brain cells. **

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. **Wormtail. ** Draco was there crying tears of blood. **If you ever mention tears of blood again I will throttle you ten times worse than if 'geddit' comes up again. ** Snaketail was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" **hehe. This is a little funny. I like despicable snobs better. It doesn't offend preps. ** he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

"Huh?" I asked.

"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) **grr. *prepares to throttle Tara* ** and a really huge you-know-what and everything. **Omg. I've lost track of how many poorly written sex scenes there are in this story. I'm proud of my summary where I pretty much mentioned everything wrong with this story. In fact it doesn't even deserve to have that word. **

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything." **MARY SUE ALERT! **

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Draco. **OMG! I HATE THIS DRACO. I went to a college prep school. I'm not a fucking slut! If I throttle Draco, will Ebony kill me? It's not even the Draco we all know and love. **

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.

Chapter 15.

AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!

"Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"

But I was too mad.

"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!" I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class. **This isn't high school. There's no Biology. I loved that class in tenth grade by the way. She probably meant Herbology. **

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. **Again, no Biology. You're too stupid to do advanced anything. ** I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco! **Oh. You meant Transfiguration. **

"Enoby I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!." Then…. he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) . **grr. Stop with the random unimportant author notes. I've heard of them but no not really. I am not leaving until I am done this commentary, all 44 freaking chapters! **

"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now) at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. **We know. If you hate her than why did you watch a movie with her as the main character? Or are you not who you say you are? ** Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether. **Another concert? Trying to fix all your mistakes and anachronisms will take all night if not the rest of my life. **


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 16.

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese! **Why the hell would you teach someone who doesn't have a decent grasp of the English language or grammar for that matter a different language that has a different set of rules? My crush knows a bit of Japanese and I know a few words too. **

We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection **ew. **but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. **You know what I just found out? Apparently frenched is actually a word that means to have sex or make out. In one of the other commentaries for this story (and I use the term loosely) said that frenched wasn't a word. I just realized why it isn't considered a word because urbandictionary says it's slang. **We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!

"Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them"

"What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what.

"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice.

"We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."

"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?"

"NO." he muttered loudly.

"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily.

"Enoby! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me.

I was flattened **I know she means flattered but I wish she was flat instead..like a pancake if not dead. ** cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese). **I wish you would learn English first. **"BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!) **Like you probably skipped English and grammar class or just didn't pay attention. **

"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily.

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. **I don't know anything about gothic culture but isn't that a Tim Burton movie? Is that why she's named that and Corpse Bride? They seemed rather frightening.** "Maybe Willow will die too." I said.

"Kawai." B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak."

"Kawai." I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.

"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr." **Wasn't there already a My Chemical Romance concert? Oh, right. It was the Death Eaters in disguise. ** I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA."

B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally lets go shopping."

"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.

"No." My head snaped up.

'WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?"

"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all." **Only in your world, Ebony/Tara/Mary Sue. Not in my world with the real Hogwarts where all the characters are free from your evil charms. **

"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don't even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.

"Dumblydore." She sed. "Let me just call our broms."

"OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly.

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs."

"Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked.

"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera."

"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.

"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said B'Loody Mary.

"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA way what's yours?"

"Tom Rid." He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight." **As in Tom Riddle?**

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!" I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!" **the real Hagrid wouldn't be able to fit on a broomstick because he's so huge. I don't know about this Hagrid. **

Chapter 17.

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!

Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. "WTF Hargrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard." **fajucking is the best typo ever. **Well anyway Willow came. Hargird went away angrily.

"Hey bitch you look kawaii." she said.

"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.** Sounds like yet another Mary Sue. **

"So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked.

"Yah." I said happily.

"I'm gong with Diabolo." she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B'loody Mart was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Navel **noo.. not Neville. ** but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's ***Lucius ** black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) **I swear if you say 'geddit' again. ** that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. **Drugs are bad m'kay. ** Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there….I gapsed. **Stop gasping. **

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers!

"U moronic idiots!" **hehe. epic insult. moronic idiot=Tara Glisebie ** he shooted angstily. "Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!"

"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…DUMBLYDORE! **I want the old Dumbledore back even though his swearing was kind of funny. **

Chapter 18.

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!

I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. **Yet another slutty outfit. No one wants to see that. ** I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.

(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). **If you like death, then you'd probably love me for throttling you for saying geddit for about the millionth time. **Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)

Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys. **First of all, I like the Backstreet Boys a little but only three songs. Second of all Ashlee Simpson is an artist not a band. **

"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. **What are fishnets? It seems to be the common denominator in all of the outfits. **Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.

"Those guys are so fucking hot." Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.

"….DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped.

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!"

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"

Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted ***disgusted? Is that what you're trying to say? ** and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1.

"BTW you can call me Albert." HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.

"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard)** No. I don't 'geddit'. Only you and your 'goffick' friends or however you spell gothic will 'geddit'. ** but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted. **If I remember correctly, Dumbledore is pretty old so he's past the mid-life crisis stage whenever that is. **

I was so fucking angry.

Chapter 19. im nut ok i promise

AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 BTW evonyd a poorblod so der!1 fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11

All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. Draco was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot). **I'm not against gays, bis, lesbians, etc but not the way you write them. **

"No one fucking understands me!1" he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken **There is a hilarious but kind of insensitve joke that goes with this typo. BORKENBORKENBORKENBORK! haha. I don't know why that's funny. Sorry. I couldn't resist the urge. ** Dreamz. He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik) **I wish you were dead. ** I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik) **Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. I know what you mean. I've seen the Going Under video on youtube. I wonder if you could be sued if any of these bands or J.K Rowling saw your horrible story. I know the original is gone but I meant the commentaries which still has your story in it. You never put up a disclaimer saying you don't own the Harry Potter characters even though this is not them and you've referenced two Evanesence songs. One in the title and one in a chapter. Anyway, for their sake I hope not. **

"Accuse me? What about me!" I growled.

"Buy-but-but-" he grunted.

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.

"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!" he shouted.

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot. **wtf? This isn't the sixties and you're not at Woodstock. **

Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated. **In the books Hermione always says you can't apparate on the Hogwarts grounds. **

"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot. "Wtf do you fink you're doing in da gurl's room?"

Only it wasn't just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore.

"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. "What are u wearing to the concert?"

"U no who MCR r!" I gasped.

"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2." He said. "Anyway Draco has a surprise for u."

Chapter 20.

AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok prepz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in transilvania 4 da nex 3 dayz so dnot expect updatz. **Bon voyage and don't come back. (That's from Bon Voyage Charlie Brown). **

All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Volxemort had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Draco so we could do it again.

"Wut de fucking hell r u doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Loopin! "R u gonna cum rape me or what." I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumblydore had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snap since he was a pedo.

"No, actshelly (geddit, hell) **No. But I wish you and your story would burn in the lowest firey pit of hell. ** kan I plz burrow sum condemns." he growld angrily.

"Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarkastikally.

"Fuker." He said, gong away.

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped….Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1 **NOOO! *covers Dobby's eyes***

"Oh my god you ludacris idiot!" **Yet another funny insult. ** they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying. **aww. *runs after Dobby and hugs him* ** Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it) but both of them were fuking preps. (btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor now)

"WTF is that why u wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)** If you were going to say you spelled everything right, you kind of did. You are still writing in chatspeak (like in text messaging) and no one will take you seriously. Writing should look professional especially if you're serious about it. **

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lumpkin shouted angrily.

"Well you shoulda told me." I replayed.

"You dimwit!." Snake began 2 shoot angrily. And then…I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.

"Well xcuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was dat al about?"

"It wuz to blackmail u." I snarked. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I'll show dis to Dumbledork. So fuck off, u bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it.** haha. ** Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot. **Harry was hot when he was himself, scar, glasses, the whole package. But you turned him into something painfully unrecognizable. I don't think he's hot this way. **

"WTF where'd Draco?" I asked him.

"Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't cum." Vampire said shaking his hed. "U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?"

Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather Serious Blak had given it 2 him. **You wouldn't know this since you didn't bother to read the books but the only flying car belongs to Ron Weasley's father Arthur. The only thing in the series that belonged to Sirius Black that flew was the motorcycle shown in the first movie which Hagrid brought baby Harry to the Dursleys on. I don't know if you've seen the movies either so this whole paragraph will probably be lost on you like the concept of spelling and grammar. ** The license plate on the front sed MCR666 **What is your obsession with the number 666?** on it. The one on da back said 'ENOBY' on it.

….I gasped. **Let me know when you're done gasping. **

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

Vampire and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band. **I guess you're not done gasping yet. I've never gasped this much in my entire lifetime. **

I almost had an orgasim. **ew ** Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing 'Helena' and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Draco, cryin in a corner. **Draco never cries this much and when he does he tries to hide it but I guess you never saw scence in half blood prince where Draco was crying in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Nobody goes there because Myrtle herself haunts it. Hermione said so herself in Chamber of Secrets. Why is it I'm the only smart one here? **


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 21.

AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong **and why isn't it your fault? It's your story.** ok koz dat bich ravern **Raven doesn't seem to be doing her job very well.** cuz it fok u prepz!1 woopz soz raven fangz 4 da help. btw transilvana rox hrad!1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer drkola was flimed!

Later we all went in the skull. Draco was crying in da common room. "Draco are u okay?" I asked in a gothic voice. **I don't understand how someone can speak in a gothic voice. **

"No I'm not u fuking bitch!" he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide. **How do you run in a suicidal way? I've heard you're not supposed to run with scissors or any other sharp object so I guess that's one way. Hasn't he committed suicide before? **

"Its ok Enoby." said Vampire comfortly. "Ill make him feel better."

"U mean you'll go fuck him wont you!" I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Draco. Vampire came too.

"Draco please come!" he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!) ***pale. Stop with the tears of blood. That's not natural. I'm not a *homophobe. A homophone is a grammar term you would know nothing about but for the lulz I'll explain. **

**homophone- a word pronounced the same as another but differing in meaning, whether spelled the same way or not, as heir and air.**

And then….. we herd sum footsteps! Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke. We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris **Mr. Norris? **there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand. **Oh. I understand now. the "shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand" confirms it's Filch, the caretaker. I now see she's mixed up Mr. Filch with his cat . **

"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily. We saw Filth come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.

"IS ANY1 THERE!" yelled Mr. Norris.

"No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!" Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way. **Under his breast? That's a horrible typo. **

"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!" yelled Mr. Norris. Den he heard Filch meow. "Filth is der any1 unda da cloak!" he asked. Filth nodded. And then….Vampir frenched me! He did it jus as….. Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!1

"WHAT DA-" he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school.

"Draco!" I cried. "R u okay?"

"I guess though." Draco weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin) **I've never heard of Lake Placid. **on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Fug and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1 **Are you a psychic now? **

Chapter 22.

AN: stfu! prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr. noris itz raven's folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1

All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me where…. B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow! **What's with the exclamation point? No one is expressing an emotion. **

I opened my crimson eyes. **Didn't you wake up two pargraphs ago? Well, the one above this one isn't much of a paragraph. It's just a badly written sentence. **Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B'loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage **Charming. the real Hermione would never dress like that. **with a white apron that said 'bich' and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Jenny) **Ginny Weasley?**was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle. It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle's dad was a vampire. **Just about everyone is a vampire in this story. It's ridiculous. I feel sorry that Ron and Darkness (I've already forgotten if it's an original or an HP character you've ripped to shreds) have the same father as Crabbe and Goyle.** He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too. **ew. **They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism. **I love this typo. Do they worship Stan Marsh from South Park? **

"OMFG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?"

"Enoby something is really fucked up." Draco said. **Yeah, Draco. It's your girlfriend. **

"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily.

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful." Draco said in a sexy voice.

"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective."

"I will I will." he said.

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too. **What's Umbridge doing here? She doesn't teach anymore after fifth year. This part is funny, though. **

"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!"

"THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Cornelia Fudge. **haha. Bark Lord. Did Cornelius get a sex change? **

"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!" **First of all, at Hogwarts it's called the Headmaster.** **LOL. This is the best line ever. **

"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "Butt we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is…..Enony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way." **Only in Tara's world her Mary Sue is the chosen one. I liked it better when Harry was the chosen one, there was the prophesy, and everyone was themselves. More importantly there was no Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Mary Sue Way, etc. **

Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B'loody Mary looked at each other…I gasped.

...

Chapter 23.

AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox **Raven told her about the Harry Potter books? GASP! Yeah, I'm sick of her gasping all the time but why the hell did she tell her so late in the story? This is just a guess since Tara doesn't tell us what books Raven told her about. **gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!

The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledum and Rumbridge sawed us.

"MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!" Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her.

"Oops she made a mistake!" he corrupted her. "She means hi everybody cum in!" **I hate the way she misspells come. It's so dirty sounding. **

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B'loody Mary. Crab and Goyle started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo. **Who is that?** I eight some Count Chocula and drank som blood from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was…Vampire! He and Draco were shooting at eachother.

"Vampire, Draco WTF?" I asked.

"You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to shit next to her!1"

"No I do!" shouted.

"No she doesn't fucking like u, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco.

"No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!" shouted Vampire. And then… he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other.

Dumbldore yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe. **You said he has no nose twice. Does Voldemort even have a broomstick? I always thought he was the only character in the HP series that was allowed to be so powerful that he could get around without a broomstick. I remember the battle over Little Whinging in Deathly Hallows where Harry discovered Voldemort could somehow fly all by himself. **All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Britney that fucking prep started to cry. Vampire and Draco stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent….Volzemort!

"Eboby…..Ebony…." Darth Valer sed evilly in his raspy voice. "Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!"

"Plz don't make me kill him plz!" I begged.

"No!" he laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling.

I bust into tears. Draco and Vampire came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way. **Why does the Mary Sue suddenly have psychic powers? **

"No!" I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision. **She does just about everything sexily. It's stupid. Besides, I don't think sexily is even a word. **

"Ebony Ebony aure you alright?" asked Draco in a worried voice.

"Yeah yeah." I said sadly as I got up.

"Everyfing's all right Enoby." said Vampire all sensetive.

"No its not!" I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!" **In the canon world only Harry can be possessed by Voldemort and see into his mind. **

"Its ok gurl." said B'loody Mary. "Maybe u should ask Proffesor Sinister about what the visions mean though."

"Ok bich." I said sadly and den we went.

Chapter 24.

AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous **There's no way in the world I would be jealous of this horrible story. **so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help!

Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions.

"Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese. She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She's da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long dead black hair **dead black hair?** with blood red tips and red eyes. (hr mom woz a vampire. She's also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing. she n b'loody mry get along grate) **I hate the way she's twisting everything up to fit her needs. I think she's trying to talk about Professor Trelawney. In the canon world I believe she is actually related to a seer. She doesn't speak any foreign language and Hermione hates Divination class. **She's really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.

"What is it Ebony?" she asked. "Hey I love ur nail polish where'd u get it, Hot Topik?"

"Yeah." I answered. All the preps who didn't know what HT was gave me weird looks.** I'm a prep and I know what Hot Topic is. **I gave them the middle finger. "Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?"

"Ho about now?" she asked.

"OK." I said.

"OK class fucking dismissed every1." Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go. "Except for you Britney." she pointed at Britney and sum other preps. "Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3." **Someone did this before and I have the urge to do it too and it's the only way I can plow through Opposite Land, which is what I've named Ebony's World. **

**Snape: Turn to page 394. **

**Thinking of the canon world of HP makes this less painful. **

"OK I'm having lotz of visions." I said in a worried voice. I'm so worried is Draco gong 2 die.

Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.

"What do you c?" she asked.

"I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram." **Only she would. **

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Draco. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes. **What are congress shoes? **

"Okay you can go now, see ya cunt." said Proffesor Sinister. **What a horrible insult. **

"Bye bitch." I said waving.

I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited.

Chapter 25.

AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up!1111 **I'm not scared of your friend Justin who I'm still convinced is Justin Bieber. **n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer! ***sarcasm* oh, I'm so scared *end sarcasm* I know how to handle viruses thanks to my penpal from London who knows everything there is to know about computers. **11111111111 FUK UU!1 raven fangz for de help!1

I was so excited. I fellowed Draco wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into Draco's black car.

"Ebony what the fuck did Profesor Trevolry say." whispered Draco potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.

"She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow." I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. **I feel sorry for anyone younger who may have stumbled across this horrid story. There are constant references to drugs and sex (albiet the sex scenes are badly written). It's just no one else should go through the torture the commentators did. **He started to fly the car into a tree. We went to the top of it. Draco put on some MCR.

"And all the things that you never ever told me

And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me." sang Gerard's sexy voice. We started tiling of each other's cloves fevently. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. **thong? bar? I think a thong is a flip flop/sandal but with Tara you never can tell. **I took of his black boxers. Then… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily. **ewwww! must find brain bleach. **

"OMFG Draco Draco!" I screamed having an orgism. **ew *flees to find brain bleach* **We stated frenching passively. Suddenly… I fell asleep. **LOL. who the heck falls asleep during sex? The only time I've heard of that happening is on Grey's Anatomy with Cristina Yang and her boyfriend Dr. Burke. Yes, I am addicted to that show. **I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with long black hair.

"No! Please don't fucking kill us!1" they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.

"No! Oh my fucking god!11" I shouted in a scared voice.

"Ebony what's wrong?" Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. I told Draco to call Vampire. He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where… Lucian and Serious!111

**I can't believe I made it out of this chapter alive. Now I'm in the mood to watch Grey's Anatomy, preferably the episode I just mentioned where Cristina falls asleep during sex with Burke but I was re-watching season one which is surprisingly short. So yeah, Sorry for the rambling. I'll either attempt the next chapter or restock my supply of brain bleach. I think the latter is best. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for skipping so many lines of text somewhere in the middle. I just couldn't think of a comment. Just scroll past Tara's writing where the bold stops until it starts again. You know so you don't hurt your brain. **

Chapter 26.

AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep! U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11 **My brain is piecing itself back together after the last chapter and I'm still losing IQ points so I don't remember any racist comments. **

A few mutates later Vampire came 2 da tree. He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt.

"Hi Vampire." I said flirtily as I started to sob. Draco hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.

"Oh fuck it!" Vampire shouted angrily. He4 started to cry sadly. "What fucking dick did that!"

"I don't know." I said. "Now come on we have 2 tell Dumbledor."

We ran out of the tree and in2 da castle. Dumblydor was sitting in his office.

"Sire are dads have been shot!" Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. "Enoby had a vision in a dreem." **That sounds familiar. That happened to Harry in the order of the phoenix. I wonder where Tara got the idea for that to happen to Ebony. Was it to just to make her character even more of a Mary Sue or did she somehow read one of the books and steal the idea from J.K Rowling?**

Dubleodre started to cockle. **this is a funny typo. Although, the real Dumbledore would never cackle at someone telling the truth about something horrible about to happen. ** "Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony's not divisional?"

I glared at Dumbledore.

"Look motherfucker." he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot of crakter). **Is she asking if something is out of character? The word of is there but the words are as usual a jumbled mess. Oh screw it. ** "U know very well that I'm not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Series and Lucian- pornto!"

"Okay." he said in a intimated voice. "Were are they?"

I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. "Longdon." I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Draco, Vampire and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Draco to wait in the nurses office while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room. We looked at each other's gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchers….and Proffesor Sinister was behind them!1

Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt u

AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me!1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111 fangz 2 raven 4 ur luv n sport n help i luv u gurl soz i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd n I silt muh rists I had 2 go 2 da hospital rraven u rok gurl!11111111111111111111

Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.

"Cum on Enoby." said Proffesor Sinatra. She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. "I have to tell you the fucking perdition."

I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Vampire. They nodded.

I smelled happily and went into a dark room. I had changed Profesor Sinister took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said… "Tara, I see drak times are near." She said badly. She peered into da balls. "You see, you must go back in time." She took out a Time-Toner like B'loody Mary had. "When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love?" I shook my head. "U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it."

"Okay." I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin. I went outside again sadly.

"What fucking happened?" asked Draco and Vampire.

"Yeah what happened?" asked Darkness, Willow and Boldy Mary?

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Draco. They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign **what's that? ** on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him. Even Mr. Noris looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley's Whizard Wises.

I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether.

Chapter 28.

AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory sed dat ok!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 fily 4 da help!1! raven hav fun wif kiwi!1111111 **Who's kiwi? a friend of Raven's? **

We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem. I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings ***stockings. I don't know why fishnet suckings is hilarious. ** and a blak leather thong underneath.

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Drako and Vampire.

"Are you okay?" Vampir asked potting his albastard hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it.

"Yah I guess." I said sadly. Drako also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. "The problem is….I have to seduce Volxemort. Ill have 2 go bak in time"

Draco started to cry sadly. Vampire hugged him.

"Itz okay Eboby." he said finally. "But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?"

"Of coarse not!" I gasped.

"Really?" he asked.

"Sure." I said.

We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly.

Then… I took off Draco's MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Enoby on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way. Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4).

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.

We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.

"I love you Eboby. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u." he screamed as we got an orgasm. **We? as in the Mary Sue and Draco? I don't think guys can get orgasms. Can they? Also, ew. ** We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly….

"WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!"

It was….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111

Chapter 29.

AN: sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz so fok u!1111 raven u rok gurl fangz 4 da help MCR ROX 666!111111111111

"Oh my satan!1" we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily.

"CUM NOW!1!" Preacher McGongel yielded. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Snoop garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.

"Hey what the fuck!111" Vampire shooted angrily.

"Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?" Draco demonded all protective, looking at me Longley with his gothic red eyes. "Look, Dumblehor noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to St Mango's. So give back da camera!1111"

Hahahaha the Mystery of Mogic thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Snoop laughed meanly.

"Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!" yelled Proffesor McGoggle. She made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these werid tools in it. Draco started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol tom felnot rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111). **The only thing I understood was Tom Felton rules for life. ew, did she just ask Gerard Way to marry her? **

I started to cry tearz of blood (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz raven sed so ok so fok u!1). **I've never even heard of the Vampire Chronicles and my crush is barely around since he's in college so I can't ask him what it is. ** Vampire took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.

And then….. he and Snoop both took out guns using magic. They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my wand.

"Crosio!" I shouted. Snap stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. I STOPPED DA CURSE. Profesor McGoogle did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said "OK Serverus I'm going 2 go now." She left. Snap started to laugh evilly. Vampire started to cry.

"It's ok Enoby." said Draco. "Evergreen will be all right. Remember the cideo u took of Snake."

Snape laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111

Chapter 30.

AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111 **Yes I do. I've read it before because I was curious about why it's so popular as a badfic and I love other people's commentaries. ** so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass!111 soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux. fangz 2 raven u rok bich!111

"No!11" we screamed sadly. Snap stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly. Then… he came tords Darko!1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Draco and nit a candle.

"What the fuck r u doing!" I shooted arngrily. Snoop laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11! **ew. **

He waved his wand and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me.

"U must stab Vrompire." he said to me. "If u don't then I'll rap Draco!1"

"No you fucking bastrad!1" I yielded.

But den Draco looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist) between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Draco and Dumblydore came and the tame where Draco almost commited suicide and Vampire wuz so sportive. **I think she's trying to say supportive. **

Snipe laughed angrily. He started to prey to Volxemort. He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Draco and Vampire. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Drako and Vampire so they would destruct Snape.

"Dumbeldork will get u!" Draco shooted.

"Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out!11" Vampire yelled. Meanwhile I took out my wand.

"You ridiculus dondderhed!111" **LOL. Yet another classic insult. ** Snoop yielded. He took off all of Drico's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him…. **AAAAH! BRAIN BLEACH. MUST FIND! So glad chapter is nearing it's end. **

"Crosio!" I shited pointing my wound. **hehe. ** Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious. I stopped doing crucio. **If I remember correctly in the canon world of Harry Potter technology doesn't work. **

"You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-" shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus came. **I can't believe this mediorce dunce thinks Snape and Severus are different people. They're the same person! At least she spelled his name right this time. His first name has too many letters for her peanut sized brain to be able to spell correctly and yet she did. Yes, harsh insult but I feel like I'm on a roll. **

Snake put the whip behind his bak. "Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing." he lied. But suddenly Lusian and Profesor Trevolry came in2 da room and they and Serious unlocked the chains and put dem around Snap. Then Profesor Trevolry said 'Come on Ebony let's go."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 31.

AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs!111 **I don't know what a quieph is. Maybe it's her misspelling of prep. **stop kalin ebony a mary su ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen **She is a Mary Sue but since you don't know what one is you're just going to keep convincing yourself Ebony is for lack of a better term normal. ** ok so fuk u!1111 fangz 2 muh bff raven 4 di help!1111

"I always knew u were on Voldemort's side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111). **Someone explained in another commentary what bitca is. I'm new to Buffy the Vampire Slayer so I don't know what it is. I wish Buffy would kill everyone and make the Harry Potter cast return to normal. **" Serious said 2 Snape.

"No I'm not I was teaching them somefing!1" Snap clamed.

"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some blak Volremortserum out of my poket and gave it to Serverus. He made Snap dirnk it. He did arngrily. Then Luscious took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snap. Then Proffesor Sinister and Lucian made us get out wif them while Snape told his secretes. Lucian took Vampure and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a millon times. Profesor Trevolry took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Volxemort. Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over. Hermoine, **Now she's calling B'loody Mary Hermione again? I hate the names she's given everyone. **Darkness and Willow came too. B'loody Mary gave me a blak bag from Tom Rid's store.

"Whatz in da bag?" I asked Profesor Trevolry.

"U will c." she said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut black leather gothic dress. ** haha. low-smut. I think she meant to say low-cut but Ebony is such a slut that it won't look low-smut on her. **It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg. I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Willow had chosen. Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick.

"You look fucking kawaii, bitch." B'loody Mary said. **oh. Hermione is B'loody Mary again. **

"Fangs." I said.

"Ok now you're going to go back in tim." said Proffesor Sinister. "U will have to do it in a few sessionz." She gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill. **Never seen it. ** Then she gave me a black time-tuner. "After an hour use da time torner to go back here." Proffesor Trevolry said. Then she and B'loody Mary put a Pensive in front of me. Every1 went in front of it.

"Good luk!1" Everryone shooted. Darkess and Willow gave me deth's touch sin. Then….. I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive.

Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was….Tom Bombodil!1111

Chapter 32.

AN: I sed stup fflaming I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111 if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111

"Hi." I said flirtily. "Im Enoby Way da new student." I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.

"Da name's Tom." he said. "But u kan call me Satan. Datz ma middle nam" **No. Tom Riddle's middle name is Marvolo. **

We shok hands. "Well come on we have 2 go upstairs." Satan said. I followed him. "Hey Satan…..do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?" (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den) I asked. **Someone pointed out all of her stupid anachronisms so I don't think Green Day exists either. I've only heard one song by them in my entire lifetime and that's Wake Me Up When September Ends. **

"Oh my fuking god, how did u know?" Satan gasped. "actually I like gc a lot too."(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that's ounded really 80s) **It's not the eighties though. It has to be at least 1940, at least in the canon world. I never did the math for Tom Riddle. I've never heard I Just wanna live it so I don't get it. **

"omg me too!" I replied happily.

"guess what they have a concert in hogsment." satan whispered. **Does Hogsmeade even exist in Tom Riddle's era? **

"hogsment?" I asked.

"yeah that's what they used to call it in these time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000." he told me all sekrtivly. "and theres a really cool shop called Hot-"

'topic!" I finshed, happy again.

He froned confusedly. "noo its called Hot Ishoo." He smiled skrtvli again. "then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic." he moaned.

"ohh." now everything was making sense for me. "so is dumblydor your princepill?" I shouted. **Nothing makes sense to me. **

"uh-huh." he looked at his black nails. "im in slitherin'"

"OMfG SHME TOO!" I SHRIEDKED.

"u go to this skull?"(geddit cos im goffik) he asked.

"yah that's why im here im NEW." I SMELLED HAPPili.

Suddenly dumblydore flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily. "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. "STUPID GOFFS!"

satan rolled his eyes. "his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we're in slytherine and we're not preps."

I turned around angrily. "actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord."

"wtf?" he asked angrily.

"oh nuffin." I said sweetly.

then suddenlyn…. the floor opened. "OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly."

"hey where r u goin?" satan asked as I fell.

I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor trevolry's classroom. dumblydum wuz dere. "dumblydore I think I just met u." I said.

"oh yeah I rememba that." dumblydor said, trying to be all goffik.

sinister came in. "hey dis is my classroom wait wtf enoby what da hell r u doing?"

:"um." I looked at her.

"oh yeaH I forgot bout that."

"wth how?" I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second. but shes a goff so its ok.

professor sinster looked sad. "um I was drinking voldemortserum." she started to cry black tears of depression. **Black tears? tears aren't black. ** dumblydum didn't know about them.

"hey r u crying tears of blood?" he asked curiously, tuching a tear.

"fuck off!" we both said and dumblydum took his hand away.

professor sinster started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. "omfg enoby…I think im addicted to Voldemortserum."

AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112 ** What issues? **

Chapter 33.

AN: I sed shut up itz nut my folt ok if u don't lik da story den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111 ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111 U SUK!1111 fangz **Nobody (not even god) is going to give you five good reviews. **raven 4 di help il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1

"Oh my fuking god!1" I shooted sadly. "Shud we get u 2 St Manga's, bitch?"

"Hel no!" she said. "Lizzen Egogy, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Tom Andorson 4 sum help?"

"Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Draco was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas.

"Hey Sexxy." I said.

"How'd it go Enoby?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking.

"Fine." I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.

"How far did u go wif Satan?" Drako asked jealously.

"Not 2 far, lol." I borked.

"Will you hav to do it with him?" Draco asked angstily.

"I hop not 2 far!111" I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.

"What happened 2 Snipe?" I growled.

"U will see." Draco giggled mistressly. **I don't think the real Malfoy would giggle. Would he? **He opened a door…Snap nd Lumpkin werz there!11 Serious waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife.

"NOOOO PLZ!1111" Lumpkin bagged as Serious started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz). **No. I haven't seen any Shark Attack movies. **We took sum of Snipe's blod den Drako and I went bak 2 our roomz. We sat on my goffik blak coffin. My cloves were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld. (if u haven't herd of it den FUK U!111) . ** I've heard of Selene and Underworld but I've never seen it. I think my crush has. ** I put on some blak platform high heelz. Darko put on 'desolition liverz' by MCR. Den….we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez. I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy. **eww. Never heard of the Grudge. *goes for Brain Bleach***

"Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111" I screemed passively as he got an eructation.

"I luv u TaEbory." he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.

Chapter 34.

AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111 hav u even red de story!11 **Yes, as a matter of fact, Tara. I'm reading your so called story right now. All flames are still justified because your story really sucks! ** u r proly al just prepz nd posrs so FUK U!111 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1

I wook up in da coffin de next day. Draco waz gone. I got up and put on a blak tight sexah drsss that was all ripped at da end. There wuz red korset stuff going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my knees. There wuz a slit in da dress lik in mr & mr simth. I pot on ripped blak fishnets and blak stilton bo-ots. Suddenly…. Sorious cocked on da door. **haha. cocked is such a funny typo for knocked.** I hopened it.

"Hi Ibony." he said. "Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Sinistor's office."

"Ok." I said in a deprezzd voice. I had wanted to fuk Draco or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence. **I like Evanescence. ** I came anyway.

"So what the fuck happened 2 Snipe and Loopin?" I asked Sorious flirtily.

"I fucking tortured them." he answered in a statistic way. "They r in Abkhazian now, lol."

I laughed evilly.

"Where r Draco and Vampira?" I muttered. **Harry got a sex change? **

"Dey are xcused form skool 2day." Sodomize moaned sexily. "Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas."

We went into da office. Proffesor Sinister was there. She was wearing a goffik blak dress that was all ripped all over it kinda lik da one Amy Lee wears in this pic. She wuz drinking some Volximortserum. She took out da Pensiv and the time-torner. "Enoby, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited." she said sadly. "Good luck. Fangz!" **How can you be addicted to whatever it is she's drinking? I think she's trying to say veritaserum but I don't know what it's significance in the story is. It's a truth telling potion. Then again, nothing makes any sense in this story. So why do I even bother? **

And then….I jumped into the Prinsive again. Suddenly I looked around…I was in da Grate Hall eating Count Chorcula. It was mourning. I was sitting next to Satan. On a table was a tall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes. He looked just like Charlyn Manson. I noticed…he was drinking a portent. "Whose he!11" I asked.

"Oh, datz Profesor Slutborn." Satan said. "He's da Portents teacher…..Ebony?" **I just love the typo she used for Slughorn. I don't know why it's funny. **

"Yah?" I asked.

"Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in Hogsemade tonight? And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat."

"Yah?"

"Well…...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?"

Chapter 35. gost of u

AN: fangz 2 suzi 4 da idea!1 u rok! **Uh-oh. Whatever it is it's probably a stupid one. ** fuk of prepz!11111111 fangz 2 raven 4 di help u rok gurl!1 ps im gong 2 end da stroy rlly sun **yay! ** so FUK U!111 oh yah nd if u no eny gofik namz plz tel me koz I ned 1 4 serius!1 fangz.

I went in2 da Conmen Room finking of Satan. Suddenly I gasped…..Draco wuz there!111

I grasped. He locked as hut as eva werring blak ledder pants, a blak Lonken Prak t-shrit and blak eyeliner.

"Draco what da fuk r u dong!111111" I gosped.

"Huh?" he asked. Then I remembred. It wuzn't Draco. It was Lucan!1 He stil had two arms.

"Oh hi Lucian!1" I sed. "Im Ebony the new student lol we shook handz."

"Yah Satan told me abot you." Lusian said. He pinted to a groop of sexxxy gottik guyz. They where siting in a corner kutting. It wuz Serious, Vampire's dad and…Snap! All of them were wearing blak eyeliner and blak Good Chralootte band shirts. "Lizzen I'm in a goth band wif those guys." he said. "Were playing 2nite at da Marylin Mason show as back-up.

"ORLY." I ESKED. **Esked? **

"Yeah." he said. "Were calld XBlakXTearX. I play teh gutter. **LOL. ** Spartacus plays da drums" he said ponting to him. "Snap plays the boss. And Jamez plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring."

"Hey bastards." I told them they gave me Dethz tuch sin. Suddenly I gasped again. "But don't u have a lead singer!" I asked. Lucian looked dawn sadly.

"We uzd to but she did. She contempted suicide by silting her rists."

"Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad!1" I gasped.

"Its okay but we need a new led snigger." Samaro said.

"Wel…..I said Im in a bnad myself."

"Rilly?" asked Snap. I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik!111

"Yeah were called Blody Gothik Rose 666. Do u wanna hr me sing?"

Yeah said everyone. So the guys tok out der guitarz. They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11) Gurn Day.

"I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz." I sang sexily (I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song)... Every1 gasped.

"Enopby? Will u join da band? Plz!1" begged Lucian, Samoro, Serious and Snap.

"Um….ok." I shrugged. "Are we gong to play tonight?"

"Yah." they said.

"Ok." I said but I new dat I had 2 get a new outfit. I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me. It wuz…..Morty Mcfli!1 He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans. **Now she's ruined Back to the Future for me. That movie probably didn't come out until 1985, the year Marty McFly is from. When has Marty ever wore a band shirt and baggy jeans? It's been a while since I've seen the movie. **

"What da hell r u dong here!11" I asked.

"I wil help u go frowad in tim Enoby." he said siriusly Den….he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and…..sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111 **Ok, so she obviously knows who Marty McFly is but she didn't know that he uses a DeLorean to travel through time. Unless she just couldn't spell DeLorean and took the easy way out. **

**I apologize once again for skipping so much. **


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 37

AN: I sed stop flaming ok!111111111 I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz!111 **For your information, I happen to be 19. But people of all ages and with enough sense would hate your story. We flame because it's below our standards. ** ps PORTERSUZ UR A PREP!1 o ya nd fangz 2 raven 4 di help!111 hav fun in englond gurl!11111

I loked around in a depresed way. Suddenly I saw Profesor Sinister. B'lody Mary, Socrates **Socrates? isn't he a Philosopher? I don't know who she meant and I also don't know a lot about Philosophy. However, this year in college I will be taking an introductory Philosophy course because on my application I accidently chose that as my major. It is now English (which seems to elude Tara). I still have to take it though. I guess because it's a humanities course and will most likely involve reading and writing. ** and Draco, Vampire and Willow were their to.

"OMFG Sorius I saw u nd Samaro and Snip nd everyone!11111 I kant beleev Snap uzd 2 b goffik!111111"

"Yah I no." Serious said sadly.

"Oh hey there bitch." Profesor Trevolry said in an emo voice dirnking some Volxemortserom. **emo voice? **

Hi fuker." I said. "Lizzen, Satan asked me out to a gottik cornet and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit for da date. Also I'm playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too."

"Oh my satan!1" (geddit lolz koz shes gofik) gasped B'lody Mary. "Want 2 go to Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit?"

"OMFS, letz have a groop kutting session!11" said Profesor Trevolry.

"I can't fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first." said Willow.

"Yah we need sum portions for Profesor Trevolry so she wont be adikted 2 Volxemortserum anymore nd also….sum luv potion 4 Enoby." Darko said resultantly.

"Well we have potions klass now." Willow said so let's go. **Tara seems to have remembered one of the classes in the Hogwarts cirriculum and it's spelled right too. **

We went sexily to Potionz class. But Snap wasn't there. Instead there was…Cornelio Fuck!11111 **LOL. Such a hilarious typo for Cornelius Fudge. **

"Hey where the fuck is Dumblydore!111" Draco shouted angrily.

"STFU!1" shooted Cornelia Fuck. "He is in Azkhabian now wif Snip and Loopin he is old and week he has kancer. **Why the heck is Dumbledore in Azkaban for having cancer? I don't know if that's what she really meant, but he should be in St. Mungo's. Not Azakban. Poor Dumbledore. ** "Now do ur work!111"

My friendz and I talked arngrily.

"Can you BELEVE Snap used to be gottik!1" Vampire asked surprisedly.

"DATZ IT!11" CORNELIO FUK SHOOTED ARNGRILY. "IM GETTING PROFESOR BRIDGE!111"

He stomped out angrily.

Mi frendz and I began talking again. I began to drink some blod mixed wif beer. **ew. hmm..I have the urge to do the Mr. Mackey joke but I already did it once before. ** Suddenly I saw Hargrid in da cupboard.

"WTF is he doing?" I asked. Then I looked at Draco. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva. Suddenly…"HARGRIF WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11" he shooted.

I looked around….Hairgrid wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11 Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily.

"God u r such a posr!1" I shooted at Hairgrid. Suddenly I looked ar what he was putting in da blood. It was…Amnesia Portion!111 ** Amnesia Potion? **

Chapter 38

AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. **Please for the love of god end the fic and never take up writing again. Try again when you have a decent grasp of English and Grammar. **fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!11 raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11

DARKO'S PONT OF VIEW LOL

Vampire and I chaind Hairgrid 2 da floor.

"Oh mi fucking satan!11" Enoby said. She wuz so hot. "Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Satan foll in love wif me faster!1" **I just realized that if Ebony's goal is to make Tom Riddle fall in love with her then the potion she's probably talking about is Amortentia, the most powerful love potion in the world. **

"But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tata," said Vampire. "Why would u need it?"

"To make everyfing go faster lol." said Enoby.

"But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?" I asked jelosly.

"OMFG u guyz r so scary!11" said Britney, a fucking prep.

"Shut the fuk up!1" said Willow.

"Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Trevolry's room."

Draco, Ebory and I went to Profesor Siniater's room. But Profesor Sinister wasn't there. Instead Tom Rid was.

Oh hi fuckers he said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez.I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said '666' on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset. "OMG fangz!" I said hugging him in a gothic way. I took da clothes in da bag. **How do you hug in a gothic way? **

"OK Profesor Sinister isnt hr what the fuk should we do?" asked Draco. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.

"Oh my fuking satan!1" I screamed as I read it. On it said Evry1 Profesor Sinister is away. She is too gottik she is in Azkhabian now. Classes shal be taught by Dubledork who is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now. Sincerely Profesor Rumbridge.

"OMFG!111" I shoted arngrily. "How could they do that!11"

Suddenly Dumblydore came.

"WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1" he began to shoot angrily. Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly's blak tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it leaving Draco and Vampire. Sudenly I wuz back in tim!11 I looked around. It was…Profesor Slutborn's efface! I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk. It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it. It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz…..Profesor Slutgorn!11 **Not as funny as Slutborn. **

OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don't kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.

"Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class." you said finally hoping he couldn't c da potion in ur pocket.

"Oh ok u can go now." said Profesor Slutborn.

You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes. Silas, Samaro and Snap were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR.

"Oh hi you guys." I said seductively. "Wheres Satan?"

"Oh he's cumming." said Serious. "BTW u can kall me Hades now." Suddenly Satan came. He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt and a blak tie.

"Ok I will see you guyz at da concert." I said and then I went with Satan.

Chapter 39

AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory and den I add sum more 2 it after vocation? **I would be immensely grateful if you just ended the story and never returned to it. This monstrosity must never see the light of day ever again. If you add more I think I'll die.** oh yah asnd prepz stup flaming if u dnot lik dat story den take muh quiz ok den u wil c if ur gofik or not!1111111

Satan and I walked 2 his car. It wuz a blak car wif pentagrams all over it. On da license plate said 666 just lik Draco's car. I went in it seduktivly. Stan started 2 drive it. We talked about Satanism (lolz he wuz named after Satan), kuttting, musik and being goffik.

"Oh my satan, Gerard is so fuking hot!11" Volxemort agreed as we smoked sum weed. (koz bi guyz r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem lol goez fux a bi guy)

"Lol, I totally decided not 2 comit suicide when I herd Hilena." I said in a flirty voice. "….Hey Satan do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 Volxemortseruem?"

"Well…" he thought. "I fink u have 2 drink Vampire blod."

Suddenly Volxemort parked da car behind a blak movie theater. Satan and I walked outside. We went in2 da movie tether were they were showing da Excercist. In it a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer came lol. Satan and I laughed at da blood koz we're sadists.

While Satan was watching da movie, I had an idea. I took Satan's gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar sexily from his poket and put sum Amnesia potion in it. I put it bak in his blak Emile the Strange bag. Satan turned arund and started 2 smoke it. Blak cloudz wif red pentagramz ind em started 2 fly around everywhere.

"OMG!111" Satan said jumping up. I gasped koz I wuz afraid hed notizd. "Enoby gess what?"

I new that the amnesia had worked.

"Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it will not work." He said. "2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u."

"Kul." I raised my eye suggestingly. And den…. he tok of my cloves sexily and we started 2 make out. I tok of his shit. He had six-pak justr lik Gerard Way!11 We frenched. **What a slut. I know she is supposed to seduce Tom Riddle but it's like for the entire story she makes out with boys besides gasping a lot. **

"Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111" shooted da lady behind us she was a prep.

"Fuk u!11" I said. Suddenly…. I attaked her suking all her blood.

"Noooooo!11" she screamed. All the preps in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped koz Satan and I loked so cute 2gether. **crapped because they look cute together? ew. No one looks cute with a Mary Sue as their make out partner or girlfriend. ** Satan and I started to walk outside.

"Zomg how did u do that?" Voldremort asked in a turned-on voice. **ZOMG? Who says that in real life? **

"I'm a vampire." I said as we went into the car.

"Siriusly?" he gasped.

"Yah siriusly." I said drinking sum beer. Satan started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily.

"Itz too bad we didn't get 2 c da rest of the movie, don't u fink?"

"Yah." I said as we kised passively. Satan parked in a blak driveway next 2 da place where Draco and I had watched GC for the frist time. We went inside where Marylin Mason wuz playing and started to mosh lol.

"Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111" screamed Marlin on da stage. We did the devil fingers. I started 2 dance really close to Satan. He was so shmexay!1 He looked at me all emo with his gothic red eyes and he looked exactly like Mikey Way. I almost got an orgaism! **ew. ** 1 Suddenly Marylin Mason stopped singing.

"I wood like to peasant…..XBlakXTearX!11" he said. I ran onstage. Lucian, Samaro, Snap and Hades were there. They started 2 play their instilments. I got onstag.

"Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111" I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) My voice sounded lik a pentagram betwen Amy Lee and a gurl version of Gerard Woy. **Now she has offically ruined Evanescence for me. Now whenever I hear Amy Lee sing I'll end up thinking of Ebony singing on stage. I was thinking of buying the new album that comes out in October and maybe by then all the memories of this story will be forgotten. ** Everyone clappd. Satan got an eructation. "I'M NUT OKAY!1" I sang finaly. Suddenly Lucian started playing da song wrong by mistak.

"OMFG!1" yielded James. "Wut the fuck?" **Further proof that Tara hasn't read the Harry Potter books since James is supposed to be dead in the canon world. **

"Woops im sory!" said Lucian.

"You fuking ashhole!1" James shouted angrily.

"U guys are such prepz!11" Snap said. "Cum on it wuz a mistake!1"

"Yah itz not his fault!11" said Serious.

"No he ruined the fucking song!1" yelled Samaro.

"U guys stop!11" I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all began 2 fight. Sudenly Samaro took out hiz nife.

"OMFG no!11" shouted Lucan but it wuz 2 late James tried 2 shoot off his arm.

And den…I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!11 **Jumped sexily? How can you look good taking a bullet for somebody? Oh, that's right. Mary Sues do everything perfectly even in life or death situations. **

"No!111" yielded everyone but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfing went blak.

Chapter 40

AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 oh and form now on il be in vocation in englind until lik august so I wont be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111

I woke up in da Norse's offace on a special gothik coffin. Hairgrid wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Vampir and Draco had bet him up. Mr. Noris was cleaning the room.

"Oh mi satan wut happened!" I screamed. Suddenly Volxemort came. He loked less mean then usual.

"Get the fuk out u fucking bastard!11" I yielded.

"Thou hath nut killd Vampire yet!11" he said arngrily. Sudenly he started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective. ** Voldemort crying tears of blood? wtf? I thought only the vampires did that. Or is he one too and I just missed it. **

"Volxemort? OMFG what's wrong!111" I asked.

Sudenly…. Lucian, Profesor Sinister and Serious came! B'lody Mary and Vampire were wif dem. Every1 was holding blak boxez. VOLXEMORT DISAPAERD.

"OMFG Enoby ur alive!111" Scremed Vampire. I hugged him and B'lody Mary.

"What the fuk happened?" I asked dem. "Oh my satan!11 Am I lik dead now?" I gosped. **haha. gosped. at least it doesn't say gasped. **

"Enoby u were almost shot!11" said Serious. "But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time." **WHY DOESN'T THIS CHICK DIE ALREADY? **

"But fangz anyway!1" said Lucian holding oot his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!

"OMG I cant beleve Vampirz' dad shot u!1" I gasped.

"Well 2 be honest Snap wuz pozzesd by Snap bak den." said James.

"Yah he wuz a spy." Serious said sadly. "He wuz really a Death Dealer." **It's been such a long time since I've read the books but I think this is the first canon thing mentioned. Snape's position as a double agent in the books was kind of confusing. **

"And he wuz such a fuking poser 2!11" said Lucian. "He didn't even realy no hu GC were until I told him." Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents. I was opening a blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. Mr. Noris looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz.

"Hey haz aneone fuking seen Draco?" I asked gothikally.

"No Draco told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax." ***hysterical laughter* Hoes of wax. Hilarious typo. I know she really means House of Wax which I've never seen. ** said Profesor Trevolry. "He duzzn't know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1"

I got up suicidally. Lucian, Serious and Profesor Sinister left. I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun. **haha. nightgun. I once asked how you do anything suicidally but I can picture her wearing a nightgown made of guns and that's suicidal because the guns could go off any minute if it's loaded and the safety thingy isn't off. I know I sound like Tara describing sex with Draco but I really don't know anything about guns. ** Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, with a matching thong that said goffik gurl on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong (if u don't get da idea massage me ill tell u). I put on a blak fishnet top under a blak MCR t-shirt, a blak leather mini with blak lace and congress shoes. I left the hospital's wings wif B'lody Mary, Willow and Vampire.

"OMFG letz celebrate!11" gasped Willow.

"We can go c Hose of Wax wif Draco!1" giggled Vampire.

"Letz go lizzen 2 GC and kut ourselvz 666!11" said Hermoine. We opened da conmen room door sexily. And den…..I gasped… Draco wuz there doing it wif Snap!1111111111111111111111111 He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jeanz.

"U fucking prep!11" we all yielded angrily.

"Yah u betrayed us!111" shooted Vampire angrily as he took out his blak gun.

"No u don't understand!1" screamed Draco sadly as he took his thingie out of Snake's.

"No shit u fuking suk u preppy bastard!111" said Willow trying 2 attak him (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out.

"Enoby no!11111" screamed Draco but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again.

**I found the rest of the story somewhere on an ffnet forum. I don't know why it's there but the person who posted it must either be Tara, related to her, a Tara clone, a fan, or whatever because her English and Grammar sucks too. **


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 41

AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF! **I have a life. I don't make it a habit to flame stories. Technically, this is my first one but when a story like yours sucks so bad you're going to get a negative reaction. ** I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is ur proly al prepz and pozers!11111 **I know who Gerard Way is. I just never bothered to listen to My Chemical Romance but I've heard of two of their songs. **neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. **The person who hacked into your account is my personal hero. I wish I knew who they were so I could thank them for attempting to put an end to this nonsense. ** im surry 4 nut updating g 4 a while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG drako iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie!111 **Now you show an interest in the movies. Now all you have to do is learn English and Grammar and read the books so you know how to write a proper Harry Potter fanfiction. ** I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play drako. **wtf? Why should Gerard Way make a cameo in a Harry Potter film? He looks nothing like Malfoy. Tom Felton was the best choice for Draco because he looks how Draco is supposed to look. I don't mean to offend any My Chemical Romance fans who aren't Tara. ** if u flame ill slit muh risztz!11 raven u rok gurl hav fun in ingland.

When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse's office but it looked difrent! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic? at da dizcko or mcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. **I drew the line when you screwed with the Harry Potter cast but this is the last fucking straw! Now you've ruined the Beatles for me too. They're supposed to look like sweethearts not like..like goths! ** On it said '1980.'

"OMFG! Im back in Tim again!111" I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually voldimort 4 photo refrenss!). Voldimort wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!11 **ew. **

"OMFG Enoby r u ok." He asked gothikally.

"Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation." I snapped sexily. "OMG am I dedd?" koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame's gun. I also rememberd cing Drako doing it wif Snap!111

I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine.

"No ur not dead." Satan reassured suicidally as he smokd a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face. "Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet. Cum on now lets go c how Hairy's dad is doing." **Will a stake kill her? I'll do the honors myself. **

I noo dat da real reason I didn't die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. "WTF! James almust shot Luciious!" I said indigoally. I knew that James had really ben possezzed, but I didn't want him2 know I knew.

"Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress." Satan reasoned evilly.

"I guess that's ok." I said because James hadn't really shot Lucian. Also I noo that Lucian wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy!11 He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties), **The only Billy Joel I know of is the piano man.** blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don't 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. "Hey." He sed all qwietly and goffically.

"Who da fuck is that?" I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him.

"Dis is…Hedwig!11" Sed Volximort. "He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm.

"Hey Hedwig." I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b.

"Lol hi Enoby." He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature. He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!)

"Bye." I sed all sexily.

"Dat was Hedwig. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up." Satan said sadly, luking at his blak nails.

"OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!" I said fingering something I didn't know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem? dey kik azz!). **Yes. I've heard of them. **

"Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Hedwig. Im going 2 show u something grate!1" I led them to da Great Hall. "Cum on u guys."

Lucian, James, Serious and Snake were all in da Grate Hall. Lucian woudnt talk wiv James because he had tried 2 shoot him.

"Go fuk urself you fukking douche!" he shouted at him. "Drako is never gong 2 b frends with vampire now!1" **Draco wasn't really friends with Harry when they were normal. At least not until after the final battle with Voldemort I think. **

"Yah go fuck urself Samaro!" Snape agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt James had almost shot Lucian.

"B quiet u guys." I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Voldement good wivout doing it with him! Now Vampire's dad wood never die and "OK Satan and Hedwig, u guys can start making out." I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod.

"Kool." said Serious as Voldemort and Hedwig started 2 make out sexily. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily. Samaro, Serious, Snake and Lucian all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Snape was bi.

"Oh my fukking god! Voldimort! Voldimort!" screamed Hedwig as his glock touched Voldemort's. **glock? haha. I knew she probably meant some body part but glock is funny. **

But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame…Dumblydore and Mr. Norris!111111111111

Chapter 42

AN: omg da new book iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!1111. **Now you decide to read them. It's a little late for that. ** I fink dat snap will be really the same person as Volximort koz dey are both haff-blood so dat will explain y he kild dumblydore and he hated hairy!1111 ** Dumbledore doesn't hate Harry. In the books (which you haven't bothered to read until now) Harry is always referred to as Dumbledore's golden boy. Snape only hates Harry because he reminds him of his father James who made fun of him in school. ** nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!111 **I can't believe you actually said something canon. Although I don't know how you can know that since when you wrote this chapter the book wasn't out yet. ** omg I hope Draco nd harry get 2getha dat will be so shmexy, wont it? If dey don't den JKR is hamophobic!111111 **I'm not homophobic but ew. Draco and Harry will never get together because they're natural enemies. ** fangz 4 da help wiv facts, medusa u rok!111

I sat depressedly in Dumbledork's office wiv Hedwig, Satan, James, Serious, Snap and Lucian. Dumbledore was sitting in front of us cruelly. He looked more young den he did in da future. He had taken da ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty Avril Levine song.

"What da hell is this anyway?" he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn't find out dat I was frum another time.

"Whatever u do don't blame Ibony, u jerk." Satan said.

"Yah, siriusly she was trying to get Satan and Hedwig back together." Serious said deviantly.

"Be quiet you Satanists." Dumbledore cockled. **hehe. there goes that funny word again. cockled. ** "If ur lucky I'll probably send u all to Akazaban! That will teach u to copolate in da Great Hall." He changed the song on da ipod 2 a n'Sync song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Dumblydore didn't notece.

"You fucking poser." I muttoned.

"I bet you've never herd of GC." James said. Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Morti McFly's tim machine!11

"Shut up Jomes!" Drako's dad shouted.

"Yeah shut up!" Snake said preppily. **How do you speak preppily? I don't think preppily is a word and if I know Tara by now it's an insult to real preps everywhere. **

"No u shut up Dumblydore!1111" said Tom.

"I've had enough of u Satanists in my school!" shouted Dumbledore spuriously.

Suddenly I grabed da iPod from him. "Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8! I jumped in2 it. But only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was…..Satan.

"You dunderheads!1111111111" screamed Dumbledore wisely as we went.

I looked around. I wuz in da Slitherin conmen room wiv Satan. I was wearing a blak plaid miniskirt with hot pink fishnetz, a sexy blak MCR corset and blak stiletto boots with pink pentagroms on dem. My earrings were blake Satanist sins and my raven hair was all around me to my mid-black.

"Hey kool where iz dis?" he asked in an emo voice.

"Dis is da future. Dumbeldore's iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a tim machine." I told him.

"Kool what's an ipatch?" he whimpered. **An eyepatch is something pirates wear. **

"It's somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 music." I yakked.

"OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?" he esked in his sexah voice.

"Um I guezz sand?" I laid confuesdly.

"Yah I wuz just triinyg to make sure u were stil da same perzon." He triumphently giggled.

Suddenly some of my friends walked in.

"OMG you're fucking alive!" said Ginny wearing a blak leather jocket, blak baggy pants and a goffik black Frum First to Last shirt. I explained 2 her why I was alive.

"Konichiwa, bitch." said Willow. She was wearing a blak corset showing off her boobs with lace all around it and red stipes on it. With it she waz wearing a blak leather miniskirt, big blak boots, white foundation, blak eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and blak lipstick.

"Hey, motherfucker." Said Diabolo with his red hair. He waz wearing a black P?ATD t-shit and blak baggy pants.

"Hey whose that, Ibony?" B'loody Mary questioned as she walked in wearing a black t-shit with a red pentarom on it with lace at the bottom, red letther pants with blak lace, and black stolettoes.

"Oh its Satan." I told her and she nodded knowing da truth.

Suddenly Satan started to cry.

"Are you okay Satan?" we asked concernedly.

"OMFG ur from da future!1! What if u don't like m anymore koz were from difrent times?" he asked.

"No I still like you." I said sexily to him.

"Ok." He said ressuredly. I let him lizzen 2 Teenagers by MCR on my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz. I gave Diabolo a signal to keep Satan occupied. Satan fell asleep. I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. Profesor Sinister ran in!1111 She was wearing a gothic blak minidress with depressing blak stripes, white and blak stripped tights, and red converse shoes. She was wearing LOTS of blak iliner.

"Oh my fucking god, where's Draco!111 How did Snap get back here! I tohot he wuz in Azerbaijan." I asked sadly.

"Ebony I was so worried abott u but I know you can't fucking die because you're a vrompire. Snape came back because that girl Britney freed him. I never liked her she was a bad student." **Is it bad if I like the Britney character? She seemed normal even though Tara used her to insult and make fun of preps. **Trevolry said reassuredly.

"That bitch!11 Did she also free Hargrid and Loopin?" I shouted angrily. I hated Britney because she was a fucking prep. **I think I like Britney. She's not crazy. **

"Yes they are on the loose at this school. Dumblydore is back Cornelia is on his way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their conman room!" Trevolry said worriedly.

"OK. But where's Dracko? How cum he was doing it with Snap?"

"I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill urself." she said.

"OMG dat's terrible!" I gasped. Satan was still asleep, so he couldn't tell what was going on. Then I said "Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!" wiv dat I ran out.

"Good luck Tara!11" everyone cried.

I ran sexily down the staris in2 da Grate Hall while da portraits around looked at me scaredly. There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer. On da way I saw Britney laughing on da stairs. She was wearing a a slutty pink shirt wiv flowers on it, a blu jean **Ebony is the real slut. **skirt Abercromie and pink stiletoos. She looked jest like a pentagram of those fucking preps Hilery Duff and Lindsey Lohan. **I don't like Lindsey Lohan much and not because she's a so called prep but she keeps getting in trouble with the law. I'm sure there are some people out there who worship her and she's setting a bad example. I don't know how to feel about Hilary Duff. I never watched Lizzie McGuire. **

"You fucking bitch!111" I shouted angrily.

"No, your totally a bitch. Now Voldemort will like totally kill u!" she laughed.

"Crucious!1" I shouted selectively pontificating my blak wand and she started screaming koz she was being tortured and I laughed sodistically.

"No!1 Help me!1 Please!1" Britney screamed terrifiedly.

I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw da video camera Snape and Lumpin had used to take da video of me. I put the tape of Voldimort doing it with Hedwigg onto it. Then I continued to rown down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached da Grate Hall I saw Vampire Potter. "OMG Vampira!111" I yielded.

We hugged each udder happily. He locked at me wif his gothic red eyes and spiky blak hair. Around them were blak eyeliner and iShadow. His He wus wearing a blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko concert shirt and his blak congress shoes. He looked mor like Joel from Good Charlote than ever. (did u hear der song da river it rox!1)"I wus so worried you died!" moaned Vampire.

"I know but Im a vampire lol. When I woke up I wuz back in 1980, so neway I bought Voldimort from when he was yung with me."

"Where's Draco?" I asked spuriously.

"Draco? You mean that fukking poser who betroyed you?" Vampir snarkled with anger in his sexy voice.

"I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM." I SED SMARTY.

"I'll do it den." Harry said angstily.

"OK." I argreed. Suddenly….all da lights in da room went out. And den….da Dork Mark appeared.

"Oh my fucking satan!" Harry shouted.

"I fink Voldimort has arrivd." I sed anxiously. "Fuck, I have to find Draco!1 I guess we shood separate."

"Ok." Vampire sed diapperating. Sadly I ran into the Great Hall.

Chapter 43

AN: I fink after dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz. Fangz 2 all muh revyooers not das flamers if u flamed sis story den u suk!111111 if u flam den fukk u!111 **I don't care if you think flamers suck. Your story sucks. **

I walked sexily into the Great Hall. It was empty except for one person. Draco was there! He sat der in deddly bloom in his blak 666 t-shirt and his baggy blak pants. He had slit his wrists!111 I felt mad at him for having sexwith Snape but I felt sorry for him. He looked just like Gerard Way with his red eyes and his pale white face. **I think she's making the HP characters look like her favorite artists as an act of wish fulfillment since she loves Gerard Way so much. She did say she wanted to marry him. **

"Draco are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm not okay." he screamed depressedly. I thought of the MCR song nd I got even more depressed koz that song always makes me cry. I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.

"Oh Draco why did you do it with that fucking bastard Snape?" I asked teardully.

"I-" Draco began to say but suddenly Lupin and Mr. Norris appearated in2 da room! They didn't see us.

"Im so glad we me and Snape were freed." said Loopin.

"Dam, this job would be great if it wasn't 4 da fukking students!" Mr. Norris argreed.

"Pop addelum!111" I yielded angrily pointing my wand at them. **haha. that's as funny as the fake spell Ron used to turn Scabbers yellow in the first Harry Potter movie. **

"Noooooooo!1" Lupin shouted as chains came on him. Mr. Norris ran away.

"You fukking perv." I said laughing wiv depths of evil and depressedness in my voice. "Now u have 2 tell us where Voldimort is or I'm gong 2 torture u!"

"I don't now where he is!1111" said Loopin. Suddenly Satan and Vampire ran in2 da room. Vampir didn't know who Satan was really.

"Oh my satan, we were so worried about u guys!1" Vampire said. I looked sexily at Draco with his goffik red eyes with contacts, blak t-shirt that said 666 on it and pale skin like Gerord Way, Vampir with his sexy blak hair and red eyes just like Frank Iero and Satan who looked jist like Brandan Urie then.

I selectively took the caramel from my pocket. And then….. I began frenching Draco sexily. Loopin gasped. Draco began to take all of his cloves off and I could see his white sex-pack. Then Vampire took his own clotes off too. We all began making out 2gther sexily. I took off my blak leather bra, my blak lace thong and the rest of my clothes. Every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl lol. "Oh mi satan! Draco!" I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to Harry. I began making out wiv Satan and he joined in. "OMS!111" cried Vampire. "Oh Vampire! Vampire!" I screamed screamed. "Oh Satan!" yelled Harry in pleasore. **eww. That was the longest sex scene ever. She's still using euphemisms for body parts but this sex scene seemed a lot better than the rest and it was longer too. Need brain bleach. **Loopin watched in shock. Wee took turns doing torture curses on him koz we were all sadists. Suddenly…..

….a big blak car that said PREPZ on the license plate flew strait through da windows. And Snap wuz in it!11

Chapter 44

AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!111 **we're not glamming. we're flaming. However it is still common knowledge that your spelling and grammar sucks. **if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!11 omg I stil kant wait 4 da movie!1 tom fleton is so hot lol i hop harry wil bekum gofik koz mi frend told me he iz rlly emo in dis book!1111 **wtf is wrong with you? it's been a while since I read the book but Harry won't become gothic or whatever you think gothic is. I'm not even sure what emo is but the reason for that is he's lost all his entire family. He's worried about losing his friends (especially Ron, Hermione, and Ginny) There's a war going on and he has to defeat Voldemort in the end. He has faced death his entire life and it's led up to the final showdown which he's been dreading since the prophesy about him was made about him and Voldemort in book 5 (but since you didn't read any of the books you wouldn't know that). It would be very OOC of Rowling to make Harry gothic. Yeah, my explanation kind of sucked. ** omfg im leeving dubya pretty soon kant wait! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak. **Don't come back. I beg of you. If I had money I would bribe you to stop writing forever. **

"Dat's mi car!" shooted Draco angrily. But suddenly it was revealied who was in da car. It wuz….Snape!

"I shall free you Loopin but first you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads." **Epic insult is epic. ** he said cruelly from the car as it flew circumamcizing above us. "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way must be killed. Den the Dork Lord shall never die!" **In canon world Harry is supposed to die so Voldemort can live. Where did she get this from? This is the only other thing besides Ebony's visions that's from canon Harry Potter but Tara didn't read the books. Maybe she got it from the movies. I don't know if she said if she watched them except for DH part 2. I do want the Mary Sue to die though. If she dies then I guess that means the Harry Potter characters will return to normal. **

"You fucking prep!" yelled Draco. Then he loked at me sadly. "I forgot to tell u, Ebony. Snape made me do it with him. I didn't really have sexx him but he's a ropeist!"

We all put our clothes on quickly except Satan. We were so scarred!1 **This story has scarred me for life. ** But Satan didn't change. Instead he changed into a man with gren eyes, no nose, a gray robe and white skin. He had changed into… Voldemont!111

"I knew who thou were all along." he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. "Now I shall kill thee all!" Thunder came in da room.

"No plz don't kill us!" pleaded Vampire. Suddenly Willow, B'loody Mary, Diabolo, Ginny, Drocula, Fred and Gorge, Hargrid, McGonagall, Dumblydore, Serious and Lucian all ran in.

"What is da meaning of dis?" Dumblydore asked all angrily and Voldimort lookd away (bcos dumblydore is da only whizard he is scared of.) **Maybe she does have a tiny grasp of the canon world. Or did someone tell her this? I think if she knew how the wizarding world works and how the characters act, My Immortal would never have been written. It's just a guess. ** He did a spell and suddenly his broomstick came to him sexily. **You gave personification to a broomstick? How does a broomstick come to it's owner sexily? It's an object. Not a person. This sentence is so confusing. ** Volxemort flew above the roof evilly on his broomstik.

"Oh my goth!" Slugborn gosped. (geddit kos im goffik)

"The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!" Snape ejaculated menacingly.

"You fucking preppy fags!" Serious shouted angrily.

"I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!" screamed Harry but da sparks from his wand only hit Draco's car. **Bellatrix Lestrange says that when you perform the cruciatus curse you have to mean it. ** It fell down Snap quickly crowled out of it and picked up the cideo camera.

"Oh my fucking god!1" I cried becoze the video of me in da bathrum, the video of me dong it wif Drako and the video of Satan doing it with

"If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in the skull. Then u can be just like that goffik girl Paris Hillton." He laughed meanly. **Paris Hilton is not gothic. She's a socialite. I don't know if Tara's favorite words poser or prep would fit her and I don't even really like Paris Hilton, anyway. **

"No!" I scremed. "FYI I hav da picter of u doing it with Loopin!11"

"Whats she talking abott?" Lupin slurped as he sat in chains.

"I saw 2 she's gunna show evry1 da picter!111" Harry shouted angrily.

"Shut up!111'" Lumpkin roared.

"Foolish ignoramuses!" yielded Voldemort from his broomstick. "Thou shall all dye soon."

"Think again you fucking muggle poser!1" Harry yelled and then he and Diablo and Navel both took out blak guns! But Voldimort took out his own one.

"U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!111" I shouted despariedrly.

"Acco Nevel's wand!11" cried Voldrimort nd suddenly Nevil's wind was in his hands. "Now I shall kill thee all and Evony u will die!11111"

He maid lighting come all over da place.

"Save us Ebony!" Dumbledark cried.

I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.

"ABRA KEDABRA!11111" I shooted. **This was a better cliffhanger than all her other ones. I'm ashamed to admit that as poor as Tara's writing was and how much I hated what she turned the characters into I want to know what happens next. Sure, she was a Mary Sue and she insulted everyone who flamed her story. Although her second story would probably have been just as stupid. **


	13. Tara's Hacker and My Hero

**I know this should go with the real chapter 39 but it took me a while to find it. I'm actually glad I'm done with all 44 chapters. Besides, I think the hacker chapter is the best and therefore should be last or second to last. I was thinking of responding to reviews after this. **

Chapter 39. I Am A Trolling Genious, lolz

Disclaimer: I do not own the HP series and I am not the real XXXbloodyrists666XXX.

AN/ I am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I crack this girl's passy for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now. Meh. **I love you for it though and I wish I knew who you were so I can thank you. I won't tell. SHHHH. I always knew Tara was dumb. As if her spelling and grammar weren't proof enough. Her password must've been really easy to crack. It seems like she didn't even try to protect her account. **

And I present to you MY crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skip over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps."

I, the American retail wearing british vampire Sue, coughed up blood. **YES! FINALLY SHE'S DYING! **

Satan kneeled down beside me.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue." **I love this line. truly epic. **

Satan sobbed. "I love you Ebony."

"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black. ***starts a cheering section as Mary Sue takes her last dying breath* "Take your stupid story with you" I whisper as she fades to black. **

B'loody Mary Smith suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. She frowned when she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Ebony's lifeless body, she screamed. Her face became pale with horror. She screamed for the healers, Dumbledore, Mcgoogle, and every single gothic person she could think of.

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Ebony. Everyone stared in shock. Her body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate. **YAY! **

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Sue became nothing more then a pile of ashes. **and good riddance. I love you, hacker. **

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!" filled the room.

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN/I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies. **YES! I FREAKING LOVE YOU, HACKER! Oh, it's so wonderful to see everyone canon again. **

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the HP characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again. **I have watched The Wizard of Oz many times as a child. There are no words for how epic this is. "she's gone where the goblins gone below, below. yo-ho. and ring the bells out! Rub your eyes. Get out of bed. Let them know the wicked Sue is dead." I couldn't resist the urge. **

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Harry and Voldemort started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax. **Well I'm glad to see that things are finally back to normal. **

And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Draco and Hermione fled the scene and got married. **replacement author? is that the hacker or Tara? wtf? Draco and Hermione? **

Meanwhile...

Down in hell, Ebony shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time. ***laughs maniacally* She got what she deserved. **

She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break her down.

She looked down over her pale body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' She asked herself in confusion. **You mean your slutty "gothic" clothes? **

And then it occured to her...

For her shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Ebony realized, on her shoulder, she was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.

Ebony supressed the urge to scream. Here she was decked out in clothes prep to the extreme wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister. **haha. A fate worse than death for Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Mary Sue Way. Oh wait, she is dead. hehe. But this is her kryptonite so to speak. I don't know if that's the right word. **

Panicked, Ebony hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo underneath. Ebony frowned, and looked under her shirt. All she saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle?). Ebony tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it.

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!" Ebony bellowed out to the air. She failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocrytical her words were, seeing as she was practically calling the kettle black here. **I have no clue what calling the kettle black means since I've never really heard it before. hmm..irony. Is it because during her lifetime Ebony made things unlogical and not make any sense and now it is unlogical for her to be dead and wearing prep clothes? meh. That was my best guess. I also hate to point fingers but the hacker spelled hypocritical and genius wrong. Oh well, it's just two words. I will let it slide because the rest is grammatically correct and spelled right. It wasn't as bad as Tara's writing. I love how she got her comeuppance, a taste of her own medicine if you will. **

Ebony slit her wrists and mumbled to herself, "Omigod." **Oh shut up, Ebony. You got what you deserved. **

/End Crap Fic.

**So that's it for my commentary on My Immortal. I can't believe I got it done in two days time but that's mainly because I'm procrastinating on finishing reading this book for college. At least I don't have to write an essay on it. It was never mentioned. The Chapter 39 by Tara is in Chapter 11 of my commentary. I'm not sure how to fix it without ruining everything but I really think this was the best part. **

**Now I think I will sing a song about the hacker based on that one song in the wizard of oz about Dorothy when she killed the wicked witch of the east. I think it was about munchkin land. **

**_hacker, whoever you are from now on you'll be history. We'll glorify your name and you will be a bust in the Sue Slayer hall of fame._**

**_ding dong the Sue is dead. Which Sue? Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. ding dong the Sue is dead. Ding dong's the merry-oh, sing it high. sing it low. Let them know the Sue is dead. _**

**_This is a day of independence for all the Potter characters and their descendants. Let the joyous news be spread. The Sue is dead. _**

**As you can see I got pretty carried away. This is after all my favorite movie and I thought it would be funny. The original song is owned by Edgar Yipsel Harburg who wrote the songs in The Wizard of Oz. I just borrowed a couple of the words and replaced witch with Sue, munchkins with Potter characters, etc. **

**Ok. I am now officially done with his commentary.  
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	14. Author's Note: A Rebuttal

**I thought I would clear up what I feel is a misconception namely that a reviewer thinks I plagiarized Tara's work. I don't mean to make said reviewer look stupid and I'm trying to write as calmly as possible. Plagiarizing means taking an author's work and claiming it as your own. Sure, it's word for word but in the author note of the first chapter I made it clear that I don't own My Immortal except for the bold lettering. **

**What would've been the point of asking the author of the story permission to use the content to write my commentary? She probably isn't even around anymore since her story was deleted and she could've be banned. In fact, I have a feeling she was banned because the end of the guidelines say "Failure to comply with site rules will result in the removal of stories/suspension of account." She will probably never see all the commentaries written about her story. You say plagiarism is against the ffnet guidelines. Well, Tara violated the following: **

Spell check all stories and poetry. There is no excuse for not performing this duty. If you do not have a word processor that has the spell checking feature, use a search engine such as to find one.

Proofread all entries for grammar and other aspects of writing before submission. 'Hot off the press' content is often riddled with errors. No one is perfect but it is the duty of the writer to perform to the best of his/her ability.

Respect the reviewers. Not all reviews will strictly praise the work. If someone rightfully criticizes a portion of the writing, take it as a compliment that the reviewer has opted to spend his/her valuable time to help improve your writing.

Use proper textual formatting. For example: using only capital letters in the story title, summary, or content is not only incorrect but also a disregard for the language itself.

Copying from a previously published work (including musical lyrics) not in the public domain.

**Tara insulted all of her flamers. Yes, I know the flames were harsh but it was for a good reason. I never got a chance to read them before her story was taken off the site but I have a general idea. I've seen similar stories that appear they as if they were written by Tara and were either a fan, or dare I say it a troll trying to imitate Tara. Anyway, the reviews for those stories were just as harsh. Anyway, she didn't respect her reviewers and kept calling them preps and posers. She used constant foul language. I don't think that's against ffnet guidelines since I didn't see it but in the sense of using foul language in her author notes to tell us to stop flaming, that goes against the ffnet guideline of respect all your reviewers. She didn't proofread or spell check her story either. For all I know her formatting could've been wrong too. I'm sure people have told her numerous times to use spell check. In her author notes she claimed it's not her fault if things are spelled wrong and she didn't take their criticisms as a compliment. Once again, I am aware of how harsh they were but they tried to help her and she ignored them. **

**She copied song lyrics into her story and it was all grammatically correct and spelled right. I'm sure she took it from a lyrics website and Good Charlotte or whatever band she was referring to is probably protected by copyright laws. She took the name of two Evanescence songs and didn't say she didn't own the names. However she did say she didn't own the lyrics to Good Charlotte but she didn't write a disclaimer for using the Harry Potter characters. My Immortal was in the public domain. Other people have written commentaries for it, there are dramatic readings on youtube, and there's a website for it. However, it's currently down due to low bandwidth. So I don't think you can accuse me of plagiarism when My Immortal is not outside of the public domain. I read in the guidelines that stories have copyrights on them and before you say "I told you so" Tara is no longer on ffnet so doesn't that mean the term of copyright has expired? The original story without all the commentaries was deleted so that probably means the copyright went with it. **

**public domain- the status of a literary work or an invention whose copyright or patent has expired or that never had such protection. **

**I just thought I would put that there for reference. I'm not trying to insult anyone's intelligence. **

**I've never gotten death threats but they sound really horrible. I'm sure Tara would never have gotten those bad reviews if she had just fixed her story. A story is supposed to have well written characters, plot, continuity, and proper spelling and grammar. Tara's story had none of that and I'm sure other people were more upset by the fact that the Harry Potter characters were not canon even though she said she didn't read all the books. I think that before you write a story on a beloved fandom you have to know something about the plot, the characters, and how things work in that world. Muggle bands wouldn't be performing in Hogsmeade. **

**I'm sorry for rambling so much. It's just that flame made me so upset I wanted to cry (now I kind of know how Tara felt) but I did nothing to deserve it. It's getting a little harder to rebut in a nice way. This story is famous as a badfic for many reasons and that's all I was doing is bringing those reasons to light like many have done before me. I actually did think about this. I know she will probably never see this because she did so many things to get her account suspended and ultimately banned. I'm sure if she ever came crawling back the admins would recognize her and ban her again. I wouldn't like it if someone did that to me but the only difference is I think Tara deserved it even if you say she didn't. However, I would make sure to thoroughly edit my work so people don't have any reason to flame me. The people who flamed Tara had many reasons. **

**I think I've addressed everything my rebuttal is over. Thanks to everyone else who supported me. **


End file.
